A year ago I joined a club of women I never wanted to be part of. We’re the moms who’ve held our babes in our hearts and our wombs but never really in our arms.
I spent the better part of the next twelve months aching for another, each month hoping it would bring news that hope deferred was fulfilled.
And I finally got what a gift each life is. Sure, we provide opportunity but no amount of wanting turns two separates into a whole. Ask any would be mama out there still praying for her miracle.
A year later and here we are, nearly six months into our rainbow baby. Our promise after the storm of grief and death and loss that battered our souls. A promise that Abba is the giver and taker of life and that there can be joy after a night of mourning.
It’s a gift we don’t take lightly this time around. A gift we know we’ve been entrusted with, not because we deserve it or wanted it enough or prayed hard enough. Simply because Abba said yes when he could have said no or not yet.
For all you mamas aching with past loss and hope deferred, I ache with you. And I pray for your own rainbow babies to come bursting into your lives. But whether they do or don’t, we have this hope-that our little ones are waiting on the other side of the veil and our God is ever present and always good.