Should I Stay or Should I Go? Part I
Every relationship is going to reach a crossroads, some on the second date, others after a few months or years.
Is this a relationship to continue pouring into, to keep pursuing and working at, or is it time to bid adieu, change the Facebook status and move on?
Here are three signs that it may be time to go. Next post, I’ll give you three reasons it might be worth it to stay.
The Green-Eyed Monster
This week I’m guest posting over at Verily Magazine. Here’s a teaser:
When I was single, I pored over books and blogs, and spent countless hours dissecting relationships in conversation with friends in search of that one great love.
Having observed plenty of relationships, I knew that when I finally found my soul-thrilling, epic love, there would be imperfections in this man that I would have to learn to patiently accept. What I didn’t expect …
Does Your Relationship Need a Boost?
There are two kinds of comfortable in a romantic relationship.
Good:The pressure to impress that other person has subsided and you’re finally at ease enough in the relationship to be all of you, from the put-together to the emotionally unhinged.
Not so Good: You are no longer excited by this person or the relationship, routine has become the rut you’re stuck in and you’ve lost that spark that first got this whole train started.
We aim for the first, knowing it’s a rare thing indeed to actually find that sort of comfortable in a romantic relationship.
3 Tips to Instantly Improve Relationships
There are some great articles out this week that I highly recommend checking out.
Over at Verily Magazine, Kara Eschbach and Monica Gabriel respond to an article in The Atlantic that touted “Boys on the Side,” as a good strategy for women seeking to pursue career first, love second. Sheila Gregoire, Courtney, Jennifer, and Darlene Schacht have collectively focused this week on helping women revamp their marriages by speaking words of praise towards their husbands.
What does this have to do with us who are young adults, many who are single and not yet married?
Jane Austen on Hooking-up
I was watching Pride and Prejudice this past weekend, which I do every time my husband goes out of town. It has to be the BBC 8 hour version with Colin Firth. If you’re a real fan, you’ll understand. You simply cannot scrimp on Jane Austen’s dialogue or on Mr. Firth. But I digress.
Aside from the intrigue, the scandals, the depth of characters, and the biting wit delivered in refined prose, Austen has an ability to talk about sex, relationships and the male/female dynamic in a manner that is timeless. Take this little gem for instance:
What Habits Are You Forming?
It’s unatural, restricting and goes against our natural instincts, which is why people get restless in marriage,” argued my friend as we sat discussing relationships and sexual fidelity. My line of work has a tendency to bring up these sort of conversations.
He’s not alone in thinking that. It’s a line of thought that gets used to rationalize a myriad of behavior in marriages, such as the one I addressed here .
But this looks at divorce only as the sum of the marriage experience and nothing before.
Newsflash: When the city records office hands you your marriage license, it doesn’t come with a giant reset button for all your habits, attitudes and expectations about relationships.
The Most Unromantic Proposal
I was watching The Newsroom season finale this week and …
Spoiler Alert!: Only a small one but if you plan to watch the finale, skip to the (*) asterisk down the page.
There’s a moment when one of the characters, Don, invites his on-again, off-again girlfriend Maggie into his apartment. The lights are off, the living room is glowing with candles and Don pulls out a box. At this point, any girl watching this scene with the sound off would have immediately thought, “Oh, he’s going to propose!”
Which he did. Except instead of a diamond ring as a symbol of his love and devotion, Don offers Maggie a key to his apartment.
Do You Know How to Live with Imperfect?
I’m married to the most amazing man. Really. He has the patience of Job, the integrity of Abraham Lincoln and the looks of a rugged cowboy, all with fiery red hair. And he loves me something crazy.
But my husband is not perfect. And neither am I.
Shocking, I know. Being married nearly two years made that glaringly apparent to me.
3 Tips for Dating in this Digital World
Most of us have grown up never knowing life without internet, cell-phones and email. Yet the frenzy of living in this 24/7 digital world has left many of us relationally exhausted, yearning for a simpler way. Even my most plugged-in, wired friends call to complain that it’s just too difficult to know what to do. More options have only made it more complicated, blurring the dating guidelines.
Now, when you’re interested in someone, you Google their history, comb through their Facebook pictures for past girlfriends/boyfriends, and follow them on Twitter for the play-by-play of their life.
Or maybe that was just me.
The Problem: All of those digital mediums tell you about that person but they don’t help you know them.
Are You The Hero In Your Own Story?
Have you read A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, by Donald Miller? My interest was piqued after reading this hilarious post by Jamie, the Very Worst Missionary, where she describes her time at Miller’s Storyline Conference. This book focuses on the deceptively simple, yet profound, question: What kind of story are you living? One line in particular jumped out at me. So much so that I had to grab a pen and underline it right then.